To whom could I put this question (with any hope of an answer?)
Does being able to live without someone you loved mean you loved her less than you thought…?” —Roland Barthes “Mourning Dairy” November 28.
Kevin walked into the room and there she was sitting there on the couch legs crossed looking at television,
“Where have you been?”
He didn’t want to reply he know he was out with her, the other girl, the one that fulfilled all his intentions and desires, however he had to return home to his wife, Diana.
Kevin looked directly into her eyes and said nothing, he knew that his non response would cause for consequences, maybe tonight he would have to sleep on the couch, or obtain a key from a hotel receptionist, either way he didn’’t have anything to say. Just last week Diana had been bitching about him not taken up his manly responsibilities, now this week she was in the living room watching Three’s Company. He was tired of it, maybe this could have been his reason for the affair, or maybe he just liked sex, not with his wife but with her.
“Your ass is a cheater, you are worthless, a piece of shit, you hear me Kevin!”
Diana was losing her mind again he though, but he just continued upstairs took off his shoes and clothes and entered the shower. As the liquid slid down his body all he could see was her. Her eyes were green-blue, her skin soft as cotton, her touch heavenly; grabbing the handle bar he almost lost his grip, she was taking over his mental. She was caressing his hairs gently and making him feel more like a man than Diana. She had kissed him in places he had never experienced; she made him shiver with each whisper. Why his wife couldn’t make him feel like this, he thought.
Sliding the shower door over there stood Diana looking at his manhood,
“Ha you couldn’t put that to use if you tried,” she said.
He shook his head and wrapped a towel around his waist and continued over to the sink. Diana was still bitching as he slowly rotated the toothpaste around his gums and teeth. As he spit out the contents in his mouth he saw her again, her caramel complexion was on top of him, she was slowly moving down and touching him, inserting him in her mouth. Dropping his toothbrush Diana was curious,
“What the hell is wrong with you? Are you sick or something?”
Kevin just walked slowly out of the bathroom to his drawer and took out some boxers. As he slowly entered one leg into his purple Fruit of the Looms the phone ring,
“Are you going to get it?” Diana yelled.
Without saying a word Kevin picked up the phone and said,
“Hello. Who is speaking?”
“It’s me, Kevin.” He knew her voice it spoke to his every human sense.
He could see her again. Licking him and scratching him like a lion destroying its prey.
“Elizabeth, why are you calling my house? I told you not at this hour. My psycho wife is here.”
“I need you again,” Elizabeth said sexual. “I want to feel you inside of me, caressing my body. Please Kevin. Please. I can’t do it no more I’m coming over.”
Kevin moved the phone away from his ear. He knew that if Diana found out about Elizabeth he would kill her.
“Lizzy, baby I will meet you at the café on third in fifteen minutes,” Kevin’s voice sounded uneasy.
“Okay, I will be waiting come quick.”
Rushing to leave his house Kevin threw on some grey sweatpants and his Kiss hoodie.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Diana said furiously.
“To get something to eat damnit” Kevin said as he walked to the door.
Diana stood there as Kevin walked out the door. She had enough and she wanted some respect. Looking into the bathroom mirror Diana looked down at her stomach. How was she going to tell Kevin she was pregnant? All she could think about was him cheating so she decided to follow him.
It was cold and the sky was cloudy but she knew something was wrong. All she wanted was her husband to love her. All she wanted was him to caress her like he did in high school, tell her sweet nothings in her ear; but there was another woman, and she could feel it.
At the café on third Kevin sees Elizabeth in a red coat sitting in a booth. He walks over to her,
“Hey baby. Are you okay?” Kevin says softly.
“Yes baby, I just wanted to kiss you and let you know I’m pregnant.”
Kevin was overjoyed he couldn’t believe that he was going to be a father. Diana could never give him children he thought. He pictured himself with Elizabeth happily ever after and having the greatest sex of his life. Suddenly Diana walked in,
“Kevin, you fucking her,” she screamed.
Turning around Kevin was in shock. Elizabeth jumped in front of him and yelled,
“Stop Diana, I’m having his baby.”
Diana started to cry, she knew this couldn’t be true, falling to the floor she yelled at Kevin and wish they were never married,
“You fucking bitch, I’m pregnant too.”
There was a time when I looked at you and everything stood still. What happen to the memories we made?
Now you sit there lonely, tears flowing like falling rain against the window. What have I done to hurt you?
Cheated by your love I want to rip my heart out. I want to feed my existence to the demons you have unleashed against me. Why do you continue to tear at my soul when I no longer am living?
We were together and now you just stare at me. Your eyes are green with envy, and your smile demented. Have you become the devil himself?
I have become rather acquainted with him because he seems to be your friend. I however am a saint. I rescued you from the fires but yet you found your way back.
Was this relationship a failure?
I had to let go but you held the chains too tight. I tried to release myself from your ways. The lies, the games all tormented me. You played twister with my emotions always spinning the wheel on a new color to break my body into two.
Was I not good enough for you?
Sitting her under the sun, my body sweats. Tension has become one with me. I loved you but I can no longer live this insanity.
Gun loaded, trigger pulled back…